mood: tired from the roller coaster of emotions

It has been a year and a half since I last wrote here. A lot of things happened, mainly those mistakes from the choices that I made. It’s the end of the year 3 semester 1 of my life here in NTU. Successfully established a few close friends here which I am really very very thankful for; friends like Valantia & Chris who’s always there to listen to my grievances and whining to basically anything such as a bad consultation with Cindy or getting approved and praises from Ina. And also as per normal, made a few enemies like Evangeline for standing up for my friends, or Adam & pioneer jc friends for ISG’s volleyball fiasco with me and the original members wasting my time on the first day.

Sending my roomie Chris to his exchange for 6 months.

But everything changes when she decided to meet me.

nabilah, her peppermint mocha grande

It has been six years since I went out with her. And I really felt bad as she is married (like duh), and my friends advised me not to meet but I think for the first time I made the right decision. Meeting her made feel a hell lot better after all the shits that has been happening for the past year. Was so depressed because of semester and volleyball so it was a breath of fresh air to talk to someone that has been totally constant for the past 16 years. That’s almost my entire teenage life. We sat at starbucks coffee drinking to decaf white chocolate mocha, your peppermint mocha, catching up and talking about every single thing that has been happening to us in our lives and for the first in a long time I managed to just chill and not think about anything.

noun: soulmate; plural noun: soulmates; noun: soul-mate; plural noun: soul-mates
  1. a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

I’d say you are really my soulmate as a close friend cause I really really wouldn’t have it any other way. If I really had to turn back time, I wouldn’t change the fact that I met you. Just like how I feel when I met Nuruddin. You are really similar to me and maybe that’s why this friendship could last for so long and I hope it would stay that way. Still a little bit scared to get too overly attached to you but I will draw my own line and keep my distance so don’t you worry my friend.

When you said you were thankful for me agreeing to meet you, it was me who’s more thankful to it.

Thank you for reminding me of who I am and where I come from.
Thank you for being you and let me being me for the longest time ever without any restrictions.
Thank you for being a constant listener to my shitty days and not judging.
Thank you for not changing to become a makcik and not selling me insurance instead.

And thank you, for everything.