mood: happy, speechless

It’s been quite some time since I have last updated, a lot of things have happened for the past few weeks and I’m really glad that I made it through. Even though I was this [ ] close to breaking down.

Or maybe I was wrong, I am really trying to contain everything right now. If it’s the last thing I would hold on to, it would have been my pride of not letting anyone see my bitter face. I do not like 2012 at all. Many things have happened, unlucky things. But what’s new?

Something that perfectly describes the situation I am in right now. Veronica just ended our relationship, with these words.


And to top things off, while I was reading the whatsapp message Sky.FM played the song In The End. Thanks a lot for this song. Whatever it is, I know that I really tried my best to push this relationship as far as I could, but I didn’t know that you were also thinking about the same thing. I’m sorry Veronica, that I wasn’t really a good boyfriend. Really really.. sorry.

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when
I tried so hard.

I have to accept it, that she would be better off with someone else, someone better than me. If it’s the only thing that will make her happy, then I’m fine with it. After all these times, I have been keeping it all to myself anyway. 

Putting all that sadness for awhile, here’s something that cheered me up before this happened. 

Slacked with Nabilah on the eve of her birthday, thinking that I might have forgotten her birthday. But thanks to Melvin who accompanied me to find a gift (and the first one at that) for her and got her this,

Stitch thumbdrive, just like the Domo-kun that she gave it to me. But one thing that is different about this is that I managed to code a 5 minute web page with a birthday video song I picked up from YouTube. Auto-plays when she open the file. It was all that I could do within a short period of time and I really am glad that she like it. Thank you so much for being there for the past 10 years. 

And now that I’m done with this, it’s time that I do some soul-searching.

It seems that I lost my real self