mood: restless

Sometimes, this is how I felt every single time when I look at myself. Didn’t think that I would have lasted up until now. I have been thinking a lot lately, about myself and the future. And truthfully I’m a little bit scared of what’s going to happen. I feel so frustrated at myself thinking that I have totally moved on from my first love but in the actual fact, I think about her every now and that. I feel so guilty towards 维罗尼卡, I really love her though, it just that I don’t really have the confident to face the future with her, and I do not want to trouble her family as they have to go through the trouble of making halal food for me and etc. She doesn’t know that every time she says like that she’s making it awfully hard for me to accept. 

It’s like 3am in the morning now, and I can’t sleep thinking about all these stuffs. Listening to a sad song right now, 

A deep meaningful song that I’m hooked on, especially at this part:

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell ‘em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singing
Funny, when you’re dead how people start listening

Don’t you think so? I guess that’s just me but how I wish the world isn’t so seperated by all this temporary things in life. Sidetracked a little bit, was too engrossed with this song but anyway..

Yesterday while I was out with 维罗尼卡, felt a little bit left out as I do not really feel like I belonged there, shouldn’t have come but I feel bad not to. Break fast at Sakura and Lirong was late like for 45 minutes, but we still waited for her and as usual I kept my poker face most of the time. Kind of love this meme ever since it’s gotten so popular at 9gag. 

And after had our dinner, proceeded to eat ice-cream at Gelatissimo and I tell you that the hazelnut mixed with nutella is the shit man. Love it so much! And did I tell you that I almost lost my wallet while on the way to Sakura. Was my first time sprinting at town and everyone look at me like as if I was a crazy shit but I don’t care, thank god it was still there on top of my bike. Slacked at Gelatissimo until 10 plus, and we head home. Was so tired but it’s okay cause I’m used to this.

Whatever it is, I’m thankful for everyone who has been there for me up till today.