mood: complete set.
Taken from Atikah’s blog:
firstly, i would like to say sorry for eveything. i know im to blame for whats happening right now. im full of remorse, regret and guilt. i never expected things to turn out this way. i thought, i could just gain a few more friends through you. but i guess, you didnt like my ways. i still remembered the time, we were msging, and coincidentally we bumbed into each other and how we got so excited about it. i still remember you trying to cheer me up after i got my very bad result. i still remember you thanking me so much for coming down to support your band. i still remember you giving me random phonecalls and making me laugh about it. i still remember how disappointed and hopeless i am whenever i fail in making you open up.
and lastly, i remember the call you made to say sorry for i dont know for whatever reason, somehow, i was touched. i missed the ‘yesa!’ feeling whenever i succeed in making you talk to me after spending 5-10 mins asking you, whats wrong with you. im sorry i dont feel the same way you feel towards me. that is IF you even feel that way anymore. and trust me, i have no intention of going into a rship with any of yer friends. i just wanted them as friends, just like how i want you to be. i rather have each and every one of you guys as my friend cause we all know, friendship last longer than relationship.
but things have got so bad that i realise, i should back off from ALL of you. ive told R that too, ive yet to receive any reply from him, but i know, he’ll agree to it. i wish best of luck for ‘For Her Sake’. know that, running away from problems wont solve anything. and right now, im not running away, but i know this is the LEAST i can do to help the situation right now? i truly, sincerely, earnestly am sorry for whatever ive caused to happen. I am aware of yer hatred towards me, and im accepting that without demur. Hate me all you want, maybe i deserve it.
i guess, i’ll just have to forget about listening to you play MIA. 🙁
Stop blabbering nonsense, I’ve already found my real self back and I don’t give a damn about other people’s thoughts now. I’ve been giving in, ignoring every single thing even though it hurts inside alot of time.
Three days has passed ever since I triggered myself into finding back my own self, even to the extent of not contacting anyone around me and silently make myself busy. While being alone these past few days, I’ve suddenly remembered n’nabilah’s words that always keep me strong back then and I guess it works again now.
And then there’s Diyana who said that ignorance is a bliss and it really suits me well, after all I’ve been tolerating alot; ignoring every bad things and always looks for the best solution.
Well I guess this is me now, I’m back; with my real self.