mood:confused
Alone
A dry breeze is blowing
The city is getting cold
I wonder how many seasons have passed
without even a sound?

All of the people coming and going
bear heavy burdens,
searching for tomorrow
within the heat haze wavering in the distance.

Feelings like sand
falling through my hands…
Back then, the words that pierced my heart
suddenly started to throb with pain, but…

I wonder, why is the sky so vast?
Even though I tried to yell,
My voice didn’t come
and tears poured out.

I wonder where the birds are flying off to,
as they freely slice through the wind?
One can’t return to the same place
as it once was in days gone by.

Even if I give up my dream like this,
I won’t suppress my soaring heartbeat.
Someday, I want to reach
as high as the clouds.
I’ll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again

I will reach it, without everything.

I’ve searched for pieces of myself,
counting the endless nights all the while.
These feelings are becoming so certain
I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.
dedicated specially to.. my self.;

Thursday of 6th December:
woke up at 12.30pm, bathed, khalis called and met him at simei.
went to sakura for my 2nd interview, they said they would call me, so let’s see how it goes.
went to pasir ris, go to polyclinic for my medicine and also accompanied khalis too.
at around 4+, headed to a coffeshop, ate there, and went to khalis’s house.
waited for him outside.
so after a while,
lukman messaged me and i ‘lied’ to khalis that i’m going to meet my friend but actually i met lukman.
but my planned were foiled by raimi. but i don’t blame him cause.. every humans lie sometimes.
so yeah, headed to bedok and met raimi, iskandar, farhaimi & lukman. so after a few seconds headed to lukman’s neighbourhood.
met “geisha” and “mat”.
badminton-ed with them, drawed and slacked.
at 12, went home and here i am.

i kinda get confuse sometimes, cause.. i don’t really understand myself nor my friends..
& i really wanted to be who i really am, but.. something’s just hindering me and i don’t really know what is it..
& i sometimes know that i’m wrong, but that doesn’t mean that they are always right, right?
cause this feelings is hurting my heart + brain.
*sighs.*

psps: love, i stopped everything, & i want to change..