mood: mixed emotions
Sorrow Of An Advanced Year
Twenty-four hours before the clock strikes
My heart beats faster by the second
But I kept smiling to myself
Even though my soul sinks in deep sorrow
Hey, the convincing words sealed my lips
As it was being burned with poisonous words
I tried to keep myself alive
Fullspeed, I ran from everyone
The shivering waters swept through me
Deep dive, I throw myself in
Submerged and intoxicated by those feelings
It kept making my mind confuse, it hurts
Maybe it was for the better
But I can’t always keep lying to myself
These feelings kept getting stronger
I’m not even sure myself
Your eyes were filled with tears
I could see that you were wearing a mask
A new self that I were searching
It’s always kept running away from me
I’m still writing this sad song
Just maybe to cheer myself up
However I will still keep going to climb
These emotions whispered to me
And my soul will gain those strength
With the clock strikes to midnight
I am still, forever a loner..
Monday of 31st December 2007:
never did woke up cause i never had any sleep so around 8am, mom came home and bathed, changed and went to ite simei to appeal for a course there.
around 11.30am, finished appealing and went to tampines to top-up my electricity
went home back and it was around 12 noon, so packed up and called raimi.
talked on the phone with him for awhile and after he arrived at pasir ris interchange.
proceeded to simei mrt to wait for him.
so met him at the first cabin and went down to bedok to wait for the rest.
they were very late especially those two.
were very fucked up but i’d just kept quiet.
so yeah, me, raimi, lukman, shaza, farhaimi, lukman’s bro, aishah and ifah went to sentosa to swim and slack there.
arrived sentosa at around 3.30pm exactly and went to this palawan beach.
swimmed, laughed, snapped some shots and went back around 6+.
after arrived back to singapore shores, ate at a coffeshop there.
at first, planned to go bedok to slack.
but changed of plans and went to esplanade instead.
had this feeling of a bad idea but just proceeded on.
i was right, it was very fucking crowded it pisses me off.
farhaimi were lost, and i don’t wanna elaborate more.
around 11.30pm took mrt home.
and counted down myself.
it was a very fuck-ed up start of a new year.
but now i know..
that i’m not, useless..